i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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