She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
