have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
