smell my finger.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
