I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
