I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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