dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
