There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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