Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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