She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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