So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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