Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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