I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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