i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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