i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He better not be in your backpack
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
