Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
