Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
