They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
