If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
