either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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