idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
