no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
