Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
