just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
