don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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