Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
