we should wear snuggies to the strip club
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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