Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
