I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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