last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
