She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
