That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
