Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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