Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
