Where is the hickey?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
