I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
