You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
