sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
