Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
