We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
