This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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