I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
