The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
