You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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