I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
