I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
