Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
