dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
where am i from again
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
