i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
