I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
